Dec 12, 2011

Can You Tell The Difference Between A Men's Magazine And A Rapist?

Can You Tell The Difference Between A Men's Magazine And A Rapist?
Surprisingly (or not) difficult...

1. There's a certain way you can tell that a girl wants to have sex . . . The way they dress, they flaunt themselves.

2. Some girls walk around in short-shorts . . . showing their body off . . . It just starts a man thinking that if he gets something like that, what can he do with it?

3. A girl may like anal sex because it makes her feel incredibly naughty and she likes feeling like a dirty slut. If this is the case, you can try all sorts of humiliating acts to help live out her filthy fantasy.

4. Mascara running down the cheeks means they've just been crying, and it was probably your fault . . . but you can cheer up the miserable beauty with a bit of the old in and out.

5. What burns me up sometimes about girls is dick-teasers. They lead a man on and then shut him off right there.

6. Filthy talk can be such a turn on for a girl . . . no one wants to be shagged by a mouse . . . A few compliments won't do any harm either . . . ‘I bet you want it from behind you dirty whore' . . .

7. You know girls in general are all right. But some of them are bitches . . . The bitches are the type that . . . need to have it stuffed to them hard and heavy.

8. Escorts . . . they know exactly how to turn a man on. I've given up on girlfriends. They don't know how to satisfy me, but escorts do.

9. You'll find most girls will be reluctant about going to bed with somebody or crawling in the back seat of a car . . . But you can usually seduce them, and they'll do it willingly.

10. There's nothing quite like a woman standing in the dock accused of murder in a sex game gone wrong . . . The possibility of murder does bring a certain frisson to the bedroom.

11. Girls ask for it by wearing these mini-skirts and hotpants . . . they're just displaying their body . . . Whether they realise it or not they're saying, ‘Hey, I've got a beautiful body, and it's yours if you want it.'

12. You do not want to be caught red-handed . . . go and smash her on a park bench. That used to be my trick.

13. Some women are domineering, but I think it's more or less the man who should put his foot down. The man is supposed to be the man. If he acts the man, the woman won't be domineering.

14. I think if a law is passed, there should be a dress code . . . When girls dress in those short skirts and things like that, they're just asking for it.

15. Girls love being tied up . . . it gives them the chance to be the helpless victim.

16. I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them.

Answers. 1. Rapist, 2. Rapist, 3. Lad mag, 4. Lad mag, 5. Rapist, 6. Lad mag, 7. Rapist, 8. Lad mag, 9. Rapist, 10. Lad mag, 11. Rapist, 12. Lad mag, 13. Rapist, 14. Rapist, 15. Lad mag, 16. Lad mag

Dec 8, 2011

Disney Ladies from Last Night.

Fucking brilliant.

http://disneyladiesfromlastnight.tumblr.com/

"Gay as a box of kittens"

Heyyyyyy!Yeehaw. Inserting gay things into Rick Perry
’s video. 

Advice for living.

im like a boyscout only with makeup and vibrators

But most importantly!

There is this:



Darwinism at its finest

First there was this:


And then there was this:



And now there is this:

Can't comment on this. Too busy building my accessory wall.


How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

Woobly Bada Zoop Naw Moom Woobly Bloo

Let us discuss the Huxtables.  I see no reason not to.  In fact I can list approximately 12 reasons to do such a thing.  Shall I begin?

1. The Cosby Show was the biggest hit of the 1980s.
2.  Heather Coleman had a cameo on it.
3.  There were fat kids riding on Cliff's knees.  In sweatsuits.
4. This was one of the first shows to feature an affluent, over-educated African American family just being a happy little family.
5. Stevie Wonder had a cameo and they sang about giraffes because Rudy wanted to.
6. Remember the episode where Theo wanted to move out of the house and the whole family decided to teach him a lesson by mimicking the "real world"? That was my favorite episode as a kid.
7.  Also the one where Olivia (they needed a new cute character to cause mischief and mayhem) tricks Cliff into believing she knows all the answers to the game show.  He does not like it when that happens.
8.  My mom and I used to watch this shit every week.  I liked that part.
9. I always wanted someone to give me a complete tour of the house because I was always confused how to get to the dining room.
10.  Heathcliff is an awesome name that should probably be brought back into style.
11.  My grandpa is awesome, but cranky Grandpa Huxtable is frigging amazing.
12.  Track suits, and silk pajamas, and sweaters, oh my!

The fashion was impeccable.  And memorable.  As evidenced by these two new blogs of 2011.
Exhibit A:  The Cosby Sweater Project.
Exhibit B:  Clair Huxtable: Mom Style Icon
There is no need for description, their perfectly utilitarian names work just fine.

I can go on, and on and on.  But I won't.  Because I am sort of bored.

New fav

I like cars and I like twins and I like twin cars and I like this blog. It is infinitely more entertaining than one might think.