Dec 5, 2010

A Gaggle of Sassy Gays

Here are all the Sassy Gay Friend videos for you. This is probably the nicest thing I have ever done for anyone.  You can thank me later.

And this is sweet too!

Jul 23, 2010

The Zoolander School for Kids Who Can't Read Good.




Oh dear...

Two black Nigerians walk into a hospital...

[insert horribly racist Darwin joke here]

If this article weren't written for retards in overalls and their shoes untied, it would actually be pretty interesting...

The power of g-a-y. Show some r-e-s-p-e-c-t, dammit!

Strong jaws and incredible cheekbones only, please. 
Dear Army,

Thanks for training me on homosexual conduct.  I personally prefer mine with disgrace and dirty talk.  But that's just me.

Love ya!

P.S. The fact that you have someone floating down from the sky in a giant boob is not going to help make those pansy homos straight (especially the dood on the far right).  Everyone loves boobs. Even the cocksuckers.  (Click on the picture for the next page.)

Jul 22, 2010

Pulitzer? I think so.

Some fine investigative reporting done here by Gawker.  I truly appreciate them bringing this to America's attention.

Old people.

In high school I had a friend who worked at a nursing home.  There was an old lady there whose uterus would routinely fall out.  The end.

On a less vaginal note: old people dancing to new songs.

Poker Face + Old Dude + Hawaiian Shirt =


Taylor Lautner Totally Looks Like Alpaca
see more Celeb Look-A-Likes

Michigan is the weirdest place ever.


Mystery Spots. (stop being gross.)

And Bear Ranches.

Why?  I don't know...

geekwhore. whoregeek. dorkystrumpet!

It's square. It's multi-functional. It's a box.

(About 76.5 bonus points if you get the movie reference in the title.)

I've had this song in my head all day...

Just slightly less dramatic.

Awkward Stock Photos

No need for an explanation.  Except that is sort of all I need right now...

Inception/Conception. So close, yet so far.

Links within links within links.  Get it?  No? Apparently I didn't either...


I have collected a gatrillion and a half links over my law school career and I have stashed them away in my little hope chest of goodness.  Well folks, it's time.

I am cranky/happy and I am heading out on a world tour of Michigan tomorrow to visit crack babies and sex offenders.  Let's ask the angry ibex what he has to say about that, shall we?

Fuck it, I'm back.

And I changed the blog so it looks like a commercial for Claritin.  Because I am nothing if not allergic.

Mar 14, 2010

The Daily Beast

To counteract the past few posts, I present the Daily Beast's Women in the World Summit coverage. There are some amazing videos on there. And they cover some great topics. And I appreciate that they had a man participating as well. I think that so often there are men who use their power for such productive, powerful things and they get overshadowed by (drumroll please...) the giant, more forceful men who can literally and metaphorically elbow the world and the women and the gentler men/people out of their way to get their priorities taken care of, often knocking those behind them completely down or at least setting them back a few years/decades/centuries. And that is not to completely ignore the women who do similar things (SARAH PALIN I SEE YOU FROM RUSSIA)...

Anyway, point is that there are some amazingly heart wrenching, useful, inspirational, funny, uplifting, terrifying things on this page and it is worth checking out.

The end.

Just kidding, I have more to say... I learned about this on Jezebel (surprise!) and the post itself and the reader comments about female genital cutting (FGC) were enlightening to me. The video is hard to watch, but worth it.

Ugh. I am a lucky lady. That much I know.

The end. For reals.

Name that offender


I love that within the last few posts the lazer tits look like they sunk the Russia ship.

That was unintentional. And also the best thing (besides pizza) that has happened all day.

Tits! Tits! Booooobs!

Let's get right down to it: these are offensive.

Also hysterical.

OMG, watch out for the Lazer Tits!

Mar 13, 2010

Let's Check in With Russia

Here are some frozen ships.

And here is some crazy-ass 1500 year old fortress in Siberia.

Educate yourselves, comrades!

Way less gay than it sounds


I Made You a Beard

I Am Hungry

Profession as Determined by Beard Length

Birthday Dog Goes to Washington

Pew! Pew! Pew!


Law School

So it is breaking into spring here and it appears to make me happy and chipper (and utterly hyperactive and chatty). That said approximately a week ago I was a permacrankybitch and refused to talk to anyone except my dog. Now I am here talking to all three of you who read this (and also my dog, who cannot read this).

In spring you are supposed to do a spring cleaning. I do not clean. (Except to dust, I LOVE Swiffer dusters. And I also like to vacuum now, mostly because if I am lucky my dog gets so fucking scared that he literally shits himself. That is only fun until I realize I need to clean it up. So I take that statement back.) Instead I am cleaning out my gigantic list of bookmarks and foisting them on you. Good times. I have lots to share. And little wit. So this may be an underwhelming day for you all.

However there is quite a quantity of links so if you are feeling overwhelmed, may I suggest taking a Cinnamon Toast Crunch break? That always seems to work for me.

Enjoy, fuckers.

This is awesome.

Let's Play!

This weekend's edition of Cute, Cuter, Cutest! YAAAAAAY!




This made me laugh


My upstairs neighbor got a girlfriend. She is always there. And she laughs really loudly. And I cannot tell exactly (thank god) but i'm pretty sure when they have sex he howls. I imagine their sex life looks a lot like this:

You big slut! Good for you!

Make that 91

91) Whoreface crankyass bitches

The Roadshow

Fucking unintentionally rich people. Why are you not me?

Nerdy Kids For the Win

Feb 19, 2010

In sticking with the animal theme...

Hipster puppies!

falcor begrudgingly explained to his mom that wearing girl’s jeans doesn’t make him gay

Freaky, Mean, Scariest!

Not a good game at all.

Cute, Cuter, Cutest!

New game. Ready, set, go!




Ugh (part deux)

So I was totally right about yesterday, and today is already crappier. I fell walking the dog. I did not get nearly enough sleep. I hate the world. I ran out of eggos. I am so behind in my work. And I am one cranky bitch.

I'm bringing out the big guns.

As Emily said in her comment:

Hannah, don't forget ricky gervais and elmo. it's my pick me up. 

Emily, you are absolutely right. Thank you for reminding me. Cross your fingers that this works...

Feb 18, 2010

DJ Jazzy Dawson

Michelle Trachtenberg and Dawson rapping it up in the Holland Tunnel.


I feel like today is going to be a bad day. I can just tell.

One time Liz sent us this little gem and it has forever been my bad day solution. I will now share it with you. Use it wisely.

P.S. My previous bad day pick me up:  llama, llama, duck.

The Rosa Parks of Unread Blogs!

Guys, here is an awesome blog. It is called The Rosa Parks of Rosa Parks Blogs and it chronicles the overuse of assholes being compared to the Civil Rights icon.  If I were a bus driver I would totally let it sit at the front of the blog-bus.  My blog on the other hand, not so much...

Feb 16, 2010

My pony's for sale. Yes, it fucking works! I wanna get a stripey zebra instead.

This is Sleep Talkin' Man. He is British and talks in his sleep. A lot.

I recommend the sound bytes about halfway down on the left. If only my waking life were this entertaining...

People Of Walmart

Sex appeal and awesomeness all in one stylish, functional, and affordable location.

This ought to keep you entertained

It certainly helped prevent me from finishing more than one night's worth of reading.

If you click on the little camera icon at the top you can see an aerial view from 1924, 2006 or 2008. Kind of fascinating to see the changes. Definitely zoom in though.  And, as a reminder, South Brooklyn looks strikingly the same, as it was and continues to be mostly brownstones.

Anyway, an excellent use of your tax dollars at work, NYC!


Please don't ever let me become this woman.


Six Degrees of Separation

When searching for Viagra stuff I came across this page:  I believe it was the Bob Dole picture that got me there. And I thought it was interesting. It is old. But still relevant in that I was just asking myself the other day how my T-Rex's sinuses were doing.  I asked this because I figure if I am going to date a T-Rex I ought to know how he's doing.  And given his anger upon being asked that question I deduced that the answer was probably not all that good. And thanks to searching for Viagra I found out I was correct...
[FYI: Viagra searches were not for personal, but for blog use. See vagina allergies post for more information. Thank you.]

Feb 15, 2010

Going to Hell

This is a horrible thing for me to do, but this made me laugh so hard (only after reading about how crazy this broad really is).

Also because I'm pretty sure if I ever tried anything outright naughty like that I would probably end up in the same situation. And comparing myself to Tila Tequila makes me laugh even more...

Analyze This

I appreciate that thanks to Google Analytics I know that I received 14 page views this weekend. 5 of which were from Google searches (which will not happen again because I changed that setting because it scares me) and 4 of which are from CA, 2 from NY, 1 from VA, and 1 from a partridge in a pear tree. I appreciate that I play on this blog simply for the benefit of approximately 7 different people. Sort of pitiful, but sort of awesome. Because it's like a special-ed internet class where you each get more attention than an average blog reader and sometimes someone throws a chair around. Good times.

In case you are hungry

Here is the Cheezburger directory. Like a phonebook in case you need to call sassy cats or some dumbasses.

Feb 14, 2010

Gaga Time, Kiddies!

Poker Face is stuck in my head. Bad Romance was hanging out there last night. Time to reflect on Lady Gaga.

An oldie but goodie:

My favorite interview ever:

The most awkward interview ever (2 minutes, 5 seconds. Barbara, yikes.):

And speaking of homos...

Let's discuss vagina allergies.

This week a young star came forward and with the grace of a grizzly bear stumbled into the spotlight yet again by becoming the spokesperson for vagina allergies.  Up until now we have dealt with douches, labia dyes, bedazzled cooters,Viagra, Cialis, and so many other sexual organ disorders, but no one has ever been brave enough to publicise (he's British) their allergy to ladyparts.  What a brave, brave young man.

Let's all give him a slow clap.

And now it's time for a "special nap" while I look at these holy-shit-hot-but-sort-of-creepy GQ pictures.

Bringing a little much-needed flamboyance to ice dancing.

Guys. Have you seen this? It is amazing. Gay. Sparkly. Gaga. Skating.

Jeez. Maybe I should actually pay attention to the Olympics this year...

Thanks Gawker for proving why I should embrace Super Geh's flamboyance.


Remember way back when anything tasted good with ketchup on it? Way back when Reagan was seriously pro-ketchup?  And barbeque sauce didn't taste like heaven? Well, I do. And so does this person:
job fails

And so does Heinz ketchup. (Is there any other kind of ketchup?! Do not even say Hunt's. Hunt's is more like liquid fake tomato, and that shit is just nasty. This is what happens when you buy non-Heinz ketchup: NOT GOOD THINGS.)

Here, this is the Big News in Ketchup! Yay!!!!! (It's so exciting, isn't it?)

This is how this big news makes me feel:

The end.

Feb 13, 2010

Who knew?

Guys, this site is addicting. Sorry I keep posting from it, but I had to share.

Here's another good one.


My only appropriate use of that word ever.


Of the real variety.

The 100 Single Best Things on YouTube Ever.

Make that 101:

Single best thing on YouTube ever.

Dear John Mayer,

That is all.

Michigan Peoples

This is the MichLaw admissions lady and she is tiny and awesome.

This is her blog. It screams of self control on her part, but is still funny. Mostly you probably have to know the place, but maybe not.

How [Delicious] Life is Now Gaga's in the World

Elton, I will eat your face.

The Harrington Hang

Break out the Obamas!

Folks, it's time to get out the Obamas, cuz this shit is craaazy.

Dear Friends,

I am bored as hell, hating law school as predicted, and have piled up the links like the crazy person that I am. My dog is currently rolling in his pile of toys. (In case you were wondering.) And I suggest we do the same with our proverbial pile of links except rolling in them will be difficult, so let's just look at them or something. If you feel the need to roll in them go ahead and try it. Let me know how it goes.

Love, Hannah

P.S. I took a lot of Benadryl last night. This was a bad idea. Maybe a good thing for you all. Depending on how loopy you like your blog posts. It's going to be a fantastic day!

Though not as good as this lady's: