Dec 31, 2011


The only search term that has taken people to this blog:

"distraction tits"

Dec 21, 2011

Supervillain or Newt | Celebrating our next president's best ideas

I bombed this quiz. Worse than I bombed law school.
I think this reflects Newt's successful leadership of crazytown, but I can't be completely sure...

Classic Paintings Re-Imagined

I mean, wow.

Soldiers' faces before, during, and after being in combat zones.
And this isn't enough to provide more mental health services to people returning from war?
Soldiers' Faces Before And After War:

You idiots.

I can't really say it better than this blogger did:

Here’s a list of good surprises: Candy. Flowers. Finding money on the ground. Realizing you finally have enough points on your credit card to get a free flight to Miami. When a friend you didn’t know was in town shows up to your birthday party.
Here’s a list of bad surprises: H.I.V. Herpes. A fetus. The possibility you’ve just been sexually assaulted. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Views from the new WTC

Apparently there is a twitter account showing WTC building progress.  And it appears the views up there are gorgeous.

Dec 20, 2011

I went to a kick-ass college.

Check out these awesome chicks:

Those glasses! That collar! Those sensible flats!
September 30, 1968.

(I want the haircut 2nd from the right. I may actually have it already.  I am unclear on most things about my hair.)

And check out this famous alum who spent a whole lot of time sitting on Mr. T's lap:
Nancy Davis Reagan, class of 1943.


Paula Deen Riding Things

Generic Unsalted:

Land O'Lakes Salted:

Paula Deen Riding Things


I'm pretty sure I'm not as funny as I used to be.

At least I can still hang a spoon from my nose.  That always gets a laugh.

The Unimpressed Astronaut Meme

The Unimpressed Astronaut Meme

Tom Haverford knows his foods.

Treat yo'self!  There are so many more gems to be had:

Baby Seal Enters House, Sleeps On Couch, Builds a fortress out of a lamp and a pillow.

I want one.
Baby Seal Enters House, Sleeps On Couch (PHOTOS):


Dear Readers (Lindsay),

I have been convinced that I will probably make a crapton of money and lots of fame if I put some ads on this here blog.  In order for me to become a rich and famous (and yet still, preferably, anonymous) blogger I would need you all to a) come to this blog, and b) click on the ads.

In exchange for you clicking and making me millions I will continue to post random shit in the hopes that one day an ad so amazingly bizarre shows up on this blog that you email me a screenshot or something and I can post that on here and then that means another bizarre ad will show up after that post and suddenly we are in blog Inception and this joke might have been funny if I could have figured out a way to end it better.  The end.

Dec 12, 2011

Can You Tell The Difference Between A Men's Magazine And A Rapist?

Can You Tell The Difference Between A Men's Magazine And A Rapist?
Surprisingly (or not) difficult...

1. There's a certain way you can tell that a girl wants to have sex . . . The way they dress, they flaunt themselves.

2. Some girls walk around in short-shorts . . . showing their body off . . . It just starts a man thinking that if he gets something like that, what can he do with it?

3. A girl may like anal sex because it makes her feel incredibly naughty and she likes feeling like a dirty slut. If this is the case, you can try all sorts of humiliating acts to help live out her filthy fantasy.

4. Mascara running down the cheeks means they've just been crying, and it was probably your fault . . . but you can cheer up the miserable beauty with a bit of the old in and out.

5. What burns me up sometimes about girls is dick-teasers. They lead a man on and then shut him off right there.

6. Filthy talk can be such a turn on for a girl . . . no one wants to be shagged by a mouse . . . A few compliments won't do any harm either . . . ‘I bet you want it from behind you dirty whore' . . .

7. You know girls in general are all right. But some of them are bitches . . . The bitches are the type that . . . need to have it stuffed to them hard and heavy.

8. Escorts . . . they know exactly how to turn a man on. I've given up on girlfriends. They don't know how to satisfy me, but escorts do.

9. You'll find most girls will be reluctant about going to bed with somebody or crawling in the back seat of a car . . . But you can usually seduce them, and they'll do it willingly.

10. There's nothing quite like a woman standing in the dock accused of murder in a sex game gone wrong . . . The possibility of murder does bring a certain frisson to the bedroom.

11. Girls ask for it by wearing these mini-skirts and hotpants . . . they're just displaying their body . . . Whether they realise it or not they're saying, ‘Hey, I've got a beautiful body, and it's yours if you want it.'

12. You do not want to be caught red-handed . . . go and smash her on a park bench. That used to be my trick.

13. Some women are domineering, but I think it's more or less the man who should put his foot down. The man is supposed to be the man. If he acts the man, the woman won't be domineering.

14. I think if a law is passed, there should be a dress code . . . When girls dress in those short skirts and things like that, they're just asking for it.

15. Girls love being tied up . . . it gives them the chance to be the helpless victim.

16. I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them.

Answers. 1. Rapist, 2. Rapist, 3. Lad mag, 4. Lad mag, 5. Rapist, 6. Lad mag, 7. Rapist, 8. Lad mag, 9. Rapist, 10. Lad mag, 11. Rapist, 12. Lad mag, 13. Rapist, 14. Rapist, 15. Lad mag, 16. Lad mag

Dec 8, 2011

Disney Ladies from Last Night.

Fucking brilliant.

"Gay as a box of kittens"

Heyyyyyy!Yeehaw. Inserting gay things into Rick Perry
’s video. 

Advice for living.

im like a boyscout only with makeup and vibrators

But most importantly!

There is this:

Darwinism at its finest

First there was this:

And then there was this:

And now there is this:

Can't comment on this. Too busy building my accessory wall.

How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

Woobly Bada Zoop Naw Moom Woobly Bloo

Let us discuss the Huxtables.  I see no reason not to.  In fact I can list approximately 12 reasons to do such a thing.  Shall I begin?

1. The Cosby Show was the biggest hit of the 1980s.
2.  Heather Coleman had a cameo on it.
3.  There were fat kids riding on Cliff's knees.  In sweatsuits.
4. This was one of the first shows to feature an affluent, over-educated African American family just being a happy little family.
5. Stevie Wonder had a cameo and they sang about giraffes because Rudy wanted to.
6. Remember the episode where Theo wanted to move out of the house and the whole family decided to teach him a lesson by mimicking the "real world"? That was my favorite episode as a kid.
7.  Also the one where Olivia (they needed a new cute character to cause mischief and mayhem) tricks Cliff into believing she knows all the answers to the game show.  He does not like it when that happens.
8.  My mom and I used to watch this shit every week.  I liked that part.
9. I always wanted someone to give me a complete tour of the house because I was always confused how to get to the dining room.
10.  Heathcliff is an awesome name that should probably be brought back into style.
11.  My grandpa is awesome, but cranky Grandpa Huxtable is frigging amazing.
12.  Track suits, and silk pajamas, and sweaters, oh my!

The fashion was impeccable.  And memorable.  As evidenced by these two new blogs of 2011.
Exhibit A:  The Cosby Sweater Project.
Exhibit B:  Clair Huxtable: Mom Style Icon
There is no need for description, their perfectly utilitarian names work just fine.

I can go on, and on and on.  But I won't.  Because I am sort of bored.

New fav

I like cars and I like twins and I like twin cars and I like this blog. It is infinitely more entertaining than one might think.

Another installment!




All taken from this brilliant tumblr:

Dec 3, 2011

What would I do with my time otherwise?

(NOTE:  I can't figure out how to get rid of these fucking ads)

Study confirms many of us go online for no reason

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Study confirms many of us go online for no reason
NEW YORK (AP) -- For anyone who needed official word, a new study confirms that many of us - and the majority of young adults - go online for no good reason at all.
The report from the Pew Research Center's Internet & American Life Project found that on any given day, 53 percent of 18 to 29 year-olds go online just to have fun or pass time.
That should explain all those kitten videos.

Also, here's the link.