An open letter to Joan Jett and Fake Joan Jett

Oh, hi Joan Jett. You're pretty fun. Because of you I would often like to rock and roll all night and party every day. I really would. But sometimes, for instance, when I am a 28 year old vampire loving pile of snarkiness, I would prefer to listen to folk music all night and sleep all day. It just seems right. While that may be my personal issue, good ol' KStew over here seems to be conflicted. I realize that she is actually adding the character of Joan Jett to her short little acting career, so I refuse to comment on the mullet issue, but what's with the bags under the eyes? Seriously, woman, they say Preparation H helps with that. I think RuPaul told me that on some drag queen makeover show once. You should try it. I will even buy it for you if you are too embarrassed. And if it takes your pissy face and makes it emanate RPatz love again then it will certainly be worth it. All you have to do is ask. Here, the Fug Girls have something to say about you as well. This is what sparked my concern. For future reference and further advice, you might want to check in with them now and again. P.S. Real Joan Jett, Although you are only slightly younger than my mom, you are f-ing hot. Just keep that in mind. P.P.S. Fake Joan Jett, it is unclear why, but you annoy the shit out of me. Hold on tight spider monkey while I kick your ass...