Mar 23, 2009

Family Album: The Baileys

Have you ever seen "Best In Show"? Yeah, me too. It was pretty good, right? I especially enjoyed that Jennifer Coolidge. Her love of soup is always admirable. Oh, and the cute dogs. Busy Bee. Wow. Fun. Anyway, I can't possibly imagine how I got so off topic. Apologies. These are the Baileys. They are in love. With each other. And they have a dog. It is fluffy and white. Also they have some patio furniture. That's nice. They are a nice family. Sometimes on Sundays they take their Corolla out to the Sizzler and have a romantic evening together. Sometimes they even go to the mall. John-- that's the husband-- he likes to shop at Men's Wearhouse because they have some excellent end of season sales. Judy, however, is a fan of Macy's. She buys her lipstick from the Clinique girl there. Sometimes the Baileys shop together. Sometimes they shop separately. Sometimes they even bring the dog with them. But most of the time the dog just stays home and relieves himself behind the floor-length curtains in the den. They have a strong relationship because they love each other. They love their dog as well. Their dog however does not feel as strongly about his owners as he might like. Sometimes he loves cuddling with them while they watch Everybody Loves Raymond and and sometimes he just has a headache and isn't in the mood. That is understandable. This is a happy family. We know this because of their body language. Take a look. Do you see how Judy is leaning not just towards John, but over John, nearly covering his entire left side? Lately she has really been working on crushing his soul. Do you see how John has placed his hands gently in his lap, barely holding on to one knee? He has begun finding it necessary to guard the remainder of his manhood. Do you see how the dog is looking off into the distance with kind eyes and a broad smile? That is because he knows that tomorrow when John puts on his shoes he will discover the pile of shit left for him during the Seinfeld marathon this weekend. What a loving wife. What an adoring husband. What a sweet dog. This is a happy family. Now that we've dealt with that, be quiet please, King of Queens is on and I just love that Leah Remini.

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